Just Hit The Ducks, You Stupid F***s.

"McMike" (mcmike) 06/03/2015 at 09:42 • Filed to: None

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Ducks don’t have lawyers.

They don’t use a crosswalk

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > McMike 06/03/2015 at 09:50

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They have forfeited their right to live. And so have the ducks.

Rainbow > McMike 06/03/2015 at 09:51

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I disagree; avoid the ducks on the shoulder. At least give them a chance. But for fuck’s sake, don’t stop on the freeway! Major code brown.

McMike > Rainbow 06/03/2015 at 09:53

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LOL. I suppose I made it sound like hitting the ducks was the objective - no matter their location.

McMike > Rainbow 06/03/2015 at 10:01

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Major code brown.

It’s a new highway game the kids are playing called “Duck, duck deuce.”

CalzoneGolem > McMike 06/03/2015 at 10:02

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I hit a cat a while back because of traffic and no shoulder. 10/10 would do it again instead of being rear ended.

The Dummy Gummy > McMike 06/03/2015 at 10:04

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I think the real issue here is no hazards. Sheesh, some people.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > McMike 06/03/2015 at 10:10

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Replace ducks with geese and that does become the objective.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > CalzoneGolem 06/03/2015 at 10:11

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I hit a cat a while back. 10/10 would do it again.

ftfy. Or rather, ftfm. I don’t like cats.

CalzoneGolem > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 06/03/2015 at 10:13

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Do you often run over things you don’t like?

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > CalzoneGolem 06/03/2015 at 10:14

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If available.

CB > McMike 06/03/2015 at 10:15

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Man, people are idiots.

Do-Rif-To > McMike 06/03/2015 at 10:19

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An wild animal’s life is never worth more than a human’s.

An wild animal’s life is never worth more than a human’s.

An wild animal’s life is never worth more than a human’s.

An wild animal’s life is never worth more than a human’s.

Just fucking hit the animal, they’re soft and trees/poles/other cars aren’t.

(Full disclaimer - I would murder a shithead that messed with my reef tank)

extraspecialbitter > McMike 06/03/2015 at 10:38

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It’s like watching people encountering potholes.

BrainForest > McMike 06/03/2015 at 10:46

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This happened to me once. I was helping my friends move from MN to MA. They were in their Taurus wagon, and I was following in a fully-loaded 15’ moving truck with their old Escort on a trailer.

We were in the right lane. The mama duck looked like a paper bag along the shoulder from a distance. My friends made a slight swerve to the left to avoid, then mama and ducklings started speeding up, right into my path...

<>

I gave the brake two quick pumps and eased over to the shoulder, right wheels over the line. It was as far as I could move - I can’t jerk the wheel or the trailer will start fishtailing. Mama and ducklings were at full speed at this point, and they made it to the left lane as I passed behind them.

In the mirror, I saw other cars swerving, but the ducks appeared to make it to the median. Fuuuuuuck, that was nearly a disaster, but nobody wants to kill cute baby ducks.

Canada geese, on the other hand... might mess up your car.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > Do-Rif-To 06/03/2015 at 10:56

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As much of an animal lover as I am, I agree with you. If you can stop without causing a traffic disruption, do so though.

And not all animals are soft. Deer beg to differ with you.

BobintheMtns > McMike 06/03/2015 at 10:58

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Sure that driver could of handled this better, but to just declare that someone’s a stupid fuck because they didn’t just run over some animals without a thought is a bit too callous for me to comprehend... Hopefully, while on your motorbike, you don’t ever accidentally pull out in front of someone that has a similar disregard for anything that gets in their way....

McMike > BobintheMtns 06/03/2015 at 11:00

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It rhymed.

Takuro Spirit > McMike 06/03/2015 at 11:01

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DUCKS ARE PEOPLE TOO YOU KNOW

McMike > Takuro Spirit 06/03/2015 at 11:06

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I don’t care why they’re in the middle of the road.

Do-Rif-To > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! 06/03/2015 at 11:08

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Oh without a doubt you should always try to stop/avoid when safe to do so, just saying that a driver should always be aware of where the threshold lies past which you can no longer safely avoid the hit. Coming to a full stop on a busy highway is well past that point haha.

desertdog5051 > McMike 06/03/2015 at 11:24

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Their goose is cooked.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > Do-Rif-To 06/03/2015 at 11:45

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Absolutely. In fact, wasn’t a woman in Canadia (eh?) charged with manslaughter for stopping on the highway for something?

Yeah, there was. Too bad KINJA blows so hard that I can’t post a GD weblink or picture while on IE. Could any IT Department suck any harder?

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > BobintheMtns 06/03/2015 at 13:36

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Well, the “stupid fuck” did endanger the lives of all the people in at least four vehicles only counting themselves and the ones we see hit the shoulder. We don’t see how many other cars had to drive on to the shoulder or perform an emergency lane change in traffic at freeway speed behind the camera. There is a reason that the interstate highway system has minimum speed limits. Speed differentials kill people.